worrier.

My body is craving a soul sabbath. I need a break from everything and time to rest in God's goodness. I feel like I have been crazy busy lately... pretty much since August. Sometimes it is what I pack my schedule full of and sometimes it is simply what I pack my head full of. I need to take time to give it all over to God... again.

Drop off, limp over and pick up, drop off, crawl back and pick up, drop off, run back and pick up... that is the story of my Fall. I give something over to God and then I go right back to pick it up. It literally is making me physically ill. I haven't been able to sleep much or eat much this past couple months because of the things I am filling my head with. I am not just trusting God in His sovereignty and will. Do you ever find yourself in the same place? Why is it so easy for us to worry? I never thought I was a worrier until lately where I begin to see how I want control of a particular situation. I don't know the future and it simply consumes my thoughts and becomes all I want to know. I let the options consume my thoughts and literally make me nauseous. I have lost about 10 pounds through this worry process as well... which some might be grateful for, but I know it is not healthy and I don't want to waste away to nothing. I have let it take me to a place where all food repulses me and I wake up throughout the night constantly.

If you are in the same place currently or have been there let us challenge ourselves to hold fast to God's sovereignty. To believe it in our heads is one thing but to live it out is another. We do not want to trust the only One who is trustworthy. How foolish is that! We can better trust Him than we can trust ourselves! God lead me to Proverbs 3:5-6 late last night as I was having trouble sleeping. It says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In ALL your ways acknowledge Him and HE will make your paths straight." Wow. How many times have I heard that verse. It is time to make it my mantra. Whenever I start to worry I need to repeat this over and over and over and over... you get the point. If you are there right now also, try writing it down and putting it in your pocket. Let's leave God as the one in complete control and let Him play out in His time the details of our lives. Because He cares about every little detail and there is nothing to worry about! *sigh*

If you could pray that I would fully surrender everything to God, including the unknown future, and that I would leave it there that would be wonderful and helpful. And ontop of that that I would sleep and be able to eat normally again. Thanks! As always if you have any prayer requests let me know!