counting.

Have you ever counted down the days to something? Either looking forward to something great to come or to try to get away from something bad in the past? I find myself doing both almost daily. There is always something to look forward to and always something not to look back at. I found myself doing the latter today. Today for me was a day to realize I am ok. I forgive. I am not bitter. I am loved immensely by an omnipotent God and I have an amazing group of friends and family.

As I think about people counting days I remembered a friend of mine at Camp Berea who I worked with one summer. He was engaged to be married at the end of the summer and every day would doodle the number of days until the wedding on whatever paper he could find. There were numbers everywhere in the program office! It was so wonderful to see him so enthralled and captivated with the anticipation of what was to come.

I wonder if God ever doodles the number of days left until we get to spend eternity with Him? He alone knows the hour when Christ will return and bring us all to be with Him. How much anticipation do you think He has when He thinks about the marriage supper of the Lamb, Jesus, and His bride, the Church?! After all we have spent so many years astranged from Him because of sin. It gives me goose bumps just thinking about it! I believe Jesus is so excited about it that He is going around heaven smiling and doodling my name, and yours, on everything He can find!

I sure hope that Day comes soon, but it makes me think. Why don't I live counting down the days until I can be with Him forever? Why do I only count down toward petty things on Earth that are temporary and will vanish like the morning dew? I don't need to know the exact day He will return to live accordingly. I should live with a heavenly perspective each and every day of my life. Every day I can live waiting, hoping, and wishing that today would be the day I get to be with Him. And while I am waiting for Him to come back and take me home to be with Him forever I can read His love letters to me in the Bible and continue to become the bride He longs for. (How come when we are in a relationship with someone on Earth we just don't think of these things?! :) )

In my lifegroup this week we were encouraged to make lists of what we are longing for in a future man. I hesitated making one (partly because I have made many in the past and partly because I am worried no one will ever live up to my standard!). But I think about how the Bible is the list, the standard, we ought to be living up to for Jesus, our Bridegroom. Yikes!!! I don't live in love with Him the way that He is so deeply in love with me. I am an adulterous harlot selling myself to all the wrong people and things. I should be pursuing things like holiness, godliness, purity, grace, etc. I need to change my perspective. He not only fits any list I could make but blows them all out of the water! He died to prove His love for me! And even now in a cloud nine, exuberant state making preparations to bring me home to be with Him! And what am I doing with this time?! What are you? We should be preparing ourselves the way a bride prepares for the wedding day. It starts months ahead of time with a dress and goes down to the smallest detail of each strategically placed sequin. Each flower placed just right. Each piece of hair sprayed in place. What if we took this analogy and placed it on our character traits. How about the lists of things in the Bible that we should be. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control... compassion, humility, kindness... to name a few?! Let's work on those while He is working on our house and keep on counting!!! :)

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ps. I know I have blogged a little about the past 51 days and my uncertain thoughts and feelings, but know that God and I are doing great today! He has answered a lot of your prayers for me to keep on keeping on and I am forever grateful to you all for praying! Prayer is so powerful!