strategic.

Hey,

If you are reading this I need prayer. This past weekend I found myself in a horrible pattern of life that I used to live in high school... get up, lazily do nothing remotely important, go to bed, repeat... I know that my life has advanced beyond this and I used to love life but I have found myself going back to a sort of depression that I believe comes from a lack of direction in life. I know my last blog post was asking God to open a door but I still feel no direction and like I will not have one for a while. I have 28.5 hours to finish more things than I would ever be able to get done in that time for two classes. Problem is that I have to work tomorrow and Tues. I will be able to do some work in that time if I am motivated but I lack the motivation. I think it comes from the thought that I am going to fail anyway so why put forth effort when I can just not do it and end with the same result. I don't know if you ever think that way, but that is how my brain works. If I don't see a result that looks appealing then I don't bother to put forth effort. I believe in the Strengthsfinder 2.0 test it was my "strategic" strength. Always looking for the fastest, lowest output way to finish with the maximum result. When the result is not there there is no fastest way to get there. So pray I see purpose. I really think I am going to have to fail the one course because I don't have time to do all the work for both. And I had planned on spending this past weekend taking my take home exam but in studying I feel like I do not know enough information because I have spent time doing frivilous things instead of studying like blogging... needless to say I am going to bed now and hoping to actually study and take the exam tomorrow, not mailing anything in for the other course I will take the F in and then maybe sleeping with peace the following night. Prayers greatly appreciated, needless to say! :) Thanks!