The Land

"Go from your country and your kindred and your father's house to the land that I will show you." Genesis 12:1

Texas? God, really? From the time in May I was studying the life of Abraham until this past Friday when I drove into the grass driveway of my new home in Lindale, those two questions (along with a few others) have been on repeat in my mind.

The process of moving has not been easy. Saying goodbye to a large community of people whom I have grown to love without knowing if I will ever see some of them again on this earth is hard. Leaving a fluffy, cuddly bundle of joy who depends on you and is there for you no matter what is harder since she can't call when she is sad and won't understand why I left her. Not knowing the future of relationships that mean so much but could just cease to be is also very hard. But as I reflect on all these things I think there is one thing harder still. The hardest thing in all of life is to be a Christian who wants to grow spiritually but is living a mediocre life disobeying God and living in opposition to Him. And that is why I am in Texas. I don't want to be mediocre in my faith or obedience to God. God called. I answered... but not immediately.

Every time in Genesis God asks Abraham to do something it records that he does it immediately. I procrastinated answering for three months. During those three months I was in extreme torment and put unnecessary strain on my relationship with God. Yesterday I was reading Lamentations and came across verse 3:44 that says, "you (God) have wrapped yourself with a cloud so that no prayer can pass through." Wow! The disobedience of the Israelites made God not want to hear them anymore.

I hear all the time people asking God to bless them or show them the answer to a seemingly difficult decision they need to make. Many times they are just looking for confirmation of the answer they want instead of listening to what He has already revealed to them individually or in His Word (and acting on it!). God instructed us in the Bible how we should live. How many times do we question what He said and choose to live in disobedience?! Instead of trusting Him, we choose not to listen to Him (and sadly, sometimes we stop reading the Word altogether so we won't get convicted). We then look to the culture around us and live as we please all while expecting God to answer us or, worse, to bless us while we are not obeying Him?! Do we really think He wants to bless us in our sin?! How messed up is that? He is God! We are not. When will we live like that? He created everything (including us) and knows how we ought to live to achieve the best life possible with the least amount of pain and sadness. We in turn live as we want a mediocre life full of grief and despair. If he knew enough to put the earth on the right axis and keep it spinning around the sun at the right distance so we can survive how much more does He care for His sons and daughters? And why would we even think about trying to tell Him that we know better how we should live?! I don't know about you, but I need to repent of my delayed obedience and start taking what He says seriously. I want to be able to get to the end of my life and hear God say, "Well done, good and faithful servant." Faithfulness to Him starts today!

As I sit here alone in my new room and tears well up in my eyes for all I left behind, all I can do is know that I am where God wants me to be. I trust that He would not have done this if it was not for His glory and my good. He has done many things throughout my life to show me His extravagant love and protection for me. I choose to move forward in obedience with my hand in His forsaking all others.

Misty Edward's sings a song song called, "I Will Waste My Life." It is the song of this journey for me. If you have not heard it I would challenge you to open it on youtube right now and listen. The chorus says,

"I'll say goodbye to my father, my mother,
I leave all I have known and I'll have no other,
I am in love with You, there is no cost,
I am in love with You, there is no loss,
I am in love with You, I wanna take Your name,
I am in love with You, I wanna cling to You, Jesus."

That is my prayer and what I ask you to pray for me. Pray that I would cling to Jesus tighter than ever before and that He would reveal more of Himself to me through this crazy, Texan experience for whatever length of time He desires me to be here and for wherever else He might call me in the future. This is only the start of my opportunities to be faithful to Him. I pray that next time I won't delay.